


You Made a Vow

by lita



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anger, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s04e01 The Six Thatchers, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I Believe in Sherlock Holmes, John-centric, Not A Fix-It, POV John Watson, Stream of Consciousness, but explaining it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9173818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: He believed in Sherlock Holmes when the rest of the world didn’t.  He asked him not to be dead. And he complied and returned to him two years later. Why couldn’t he perform the same miracle for Mary? What is so special about Sherlock Holmes anyway? And he made a vow. The great Sherlock Holmes made a vow. Companion to "I Made a Vow".





	

**Author's Note:**

> -Unbetaed, non-native speaker, and not Brit-picked.

His feels his whole world crash around him as he sees Mary bleed on the floor while Sherlock is trying to stop the bleeding.

He can help her, he can. He is a doctor.

“All right, Mary? Mary? Stay with me, stay with me.” He is not sure whether he convinces Mary or himself.

“Oh, come on, Doctor, you could do better than that.” Mary has always been too smart for her own good.

He tries to give more platitudes but Mary sees through it. Of course he will look after Rosie together with Mary.

He hears Mary apologize to Sherlock and say they are even now. They are so alike. That was the whole point Sherlock made about him liking dangerous people.

Then it clicks that of course it’s because of Sherlock. Associating with him always attracts dangers. He made a vow to protect them. Look at what is happening now.

They were complaining about not having enough sleep because of Rosie this morning. Now this morning feels so far away. He would prefer mundane and boring to exciting and dangerous.

If only he came first to the Aquarium instead of Mary… If only he came clean about texting “E” secretly… If only Sherlock kept his vow…

“You were my whole world. Being Mary Watson... was the only life worth living.”

“Mary…”

“Thank you.”

“Mary…”

She is gone. Just like that. He should know, he has faced it many times at battlefields or operating tables. However, that never makes it any better, especially when it’s personal.

He let out all his pent up angers with all the unfairness of it.

If only Sherlock kept his vow…

He looked at Sherlock. His best friend seems unsure about himself. That is a first.

When Sherlock tries to say something, he stops him. “Don’t you dare!” Sherlock is taken aback but he will continue while he has the strength. “You made a vow. You swore it!”

He half expects Sherlock to say that everything has been planned. He expects some miracles. After all, he is Sherlock Holmes.  He expects Mary to jump up in any seconds and says “Surprise.” Then Mary and Sherlock will have a laugh at his expense.

But Mary is still not moving and Sherlock is still sad.

He believed in Sherlock Holmes when the rest of the world didn’t.  He asked him not to be dead. And he complied and returned to him two years later. Why couldn’t he perform the same miracle for Mary? What is so special about Sherlock Holmes anyway? And he made a vow. The great Sherlock Holmes made a vow.

He couldn’t look at Sherlock’s face now and for the foreseeable future. Why can’t he perform the same miracle again? He believed in Sherlock Holmes.

**Author's Note:**

> -Rose and 10 from ffnet asked me to "Can you write something about how johns feeling after he effects of lasts nights episode?" so this is the result. I try to explain away why John did what he did.  
> I'm not a natural angst writer and I don't usually write in Sherlock fandom so not sure about the result.  
> -I will make a companion piece "I Made a Vow" from Sherlock's POV. Please stay tune.  
> -Feedback and comments are appreciated.


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